In loving memory of Brian
>> Saturday, March 13, 2010 –
Plan A
Brian Hanly Leland
June 27, 1978 - March 14, 2000
It was 10 years ago today that we lost my brother Brian to a drunk driving accident. While we usually don't "celebrate" this day, I want to take a moment to remember him.
Brian was always a charmer (Caleb has his "aren't I too cute to be mad at" look). He had a face you just had to love. He was affectionate and loving and irritating and frustrating (he was my LITTLE brother after all). Brian and I fought all the time as kids but I have plenty of good memories as well. Watching "Anne of Green Gables" during college Christmas break every year and seeing him tear up when Matthew died - every year. Singing Broadway songs around the piano. When he tried to dye his hair blond at Bonclarken. The times he let me dress him up in old prom dresses and put make-up on him - or the times he would play Barbies with me and pull all their heads off.
Seriously though, we may have fought but we had that deep sibling bond. When I went to college Brian would call me at least once a week, just to talk. When he was living on his own he would call and I could hear other people there in the background, but he wanted to call and talk to his sister. No matter who was around, he would always say "I love you" at the end of our conversations.
I was always protective of Brian. I so wanted to protect him and keep him safe and hated when he got in trouble and would try and cover for him (not helping him I know). He would call me "Mom" to make me mad when he thought I was being too bossy - but I just wanted him to do the right thing.
He made some bad choices - ones that ended up with him drunk in a car with a drunk driver. I will always miss him deeply and wish I had had more than just 21 years with him. I wish he could have seen my kids - he would have been a great uncle!!
However as a believer, I trust in God's Perfect Plan. Some people get mad when you suggest that God's will includes anything tragic. With sin in the world - bad things happen. However from the beginning of time God has had his perfect plan - we only see a teeny tiny micro piece of this plan. He knew Brian was going to die - his death wasn't some freak accident that surprised God.
Brian's death was part of God's overall plan to bring glory to Himself. I don't know what reasons God had for taking Brian - I pray that one of his friends heard the Gospel at his funeral and became a believer. The reasons may never be known to me personally - but the comfort it brings to me and my family to know that Brian's death wasn't a meaningless accident has brought renewed faith in a God who is Lord over life AND death. People tell me that I'm laid back and optimistic - it's actually peace that I've been given since Brian's death. Peace that I don't have to worry about what is going to happen in my life or to my family or my kids - God knows. Resting in His Plan takes away all worry and fear - His Perfect Plan is perfect for me.
"Praise the Lord! Praise the Lord! Let the earth hear his voice! Praise the Lord! Praise the Lord! Let the people rejoice!"
(hymn we sang at Brian's funeral - a moment of joy and praise for my mom and me)
HORRIBLE picture of me but this picture is what I thought of the night Brian died. I got out of bed and Sam and I searched the entire house looking for this picture - Grandma found it months later at her house. I love how I am digging my fingers into his shoulder and you can tell by the look on his face that he is squeezing me way too tight!!
Dress up like a book character day at Camden Primary!!
Homemade Halloween costumes - I was 5 and Brian was 3!
If you knew Brian and have a memory or story or anything - leave a comment so others can remember too. (If you don't have a Google account just use the anonymous profile but make sure you put your name in the comment area!)
I have fond memories of Brian, and can still imagine that mischievous look!! RIP young friend!
I remember always being almost baffled by your relationship. You two really had an indescribable bond. Your mothering, his pestering...all so typical...but then this obvious love. You just loved each other so much. I remember thinking, "She actually WANTS him around." And then, "Why in the world does he want to hang out with giggly girls?" But you both truly found joy in each other! Brian experienced God's love, grace and mercy through your pursuit of him. Your love for Brian is evident in your dedication to your wild at heart sons. He helped you "get" them. He would've whipped those boys into a frenzy as he laughed at your frustration...they would've LOVED him! I love how even now you are determined to hold him tight...just like then...when he may have rolled his eyes but secretly LOVED it!
I wish I could post pictures.. I have some great Brian pictures :)
I loved this kid, he was so full of life, so full of mischief!! I only had one summer with him, the famous blond hair attempt summer at Bonclarken. Stephanie, you and Brian were so much fun that summer. I admired your relationship. I loved how you mothered him and he would roll his eyes, but love you for it at the same time. You guys were awesome together.
I remember getting off of work and going back to the house and hanging out with you guys. More than once, Brian would come sit in the chair with me, a chair that was really just big enough for me. He would drag a blanket over, sit with me and draw silly pictures and write nonsense poems. I still have them, they always make me smile when I come across them.
He was a wonderful, wonderful, special brother, and he loved you so much!!
I will always miss him, although I knew him such a short time...
Jamie Cheshire
Writing this makes memories come flooding back....Carol and I spent many a long cold morning walking around Camden together, laughing, crying and praying over our children. Brian was all BOY! One day he was an angel with a pitchfork and the next day he was a little devil with a halo!! But he was always loving, always the big teaser. My Josh and Caleb looked up to him because he was the "older" guy. He had Clint wrapped around his finger and that isn't an easy task. We may never understand why God takes them back when He does; but, we know He took Brian, He has Brian, and we'll see him again one day...he'll probably tease us for taking so long to get there! Love you all! Janette McCaa
I remember you and me playing dress-up at your house one day and of course Brian was pestering us. He was running a fever and we started to pick on him because he couldn't say "temperature." He said it sort of like "te-empara-true." He was a great little brother! I know he was truly loved and will forever be missed.
Ann Clithero Smith
I remember the youth trips to the beach when Brian wanted to help cook. All he did was stir the beans, but he helped. He was a good young man and I hope all his family and friends remember him for the happiness he gave us.
Bob Snell, Brian's former youth leader
I will always cherish that last summer at the beach with Brian there. I remember being really young and how it was always SO EXCITING when Brian, the big cousin, would come play with all of us. It was still kind of the same when we got a little older; I remember being so excited that he was able to be at the beach with us the whole week that year. He kept us in stitches the whole time with his stories and his jokes. Stephanie, I know you remember (and we still laugh about to this day) the story about his friend who had a pet alligator that he kept in a kiddie pool. And I remember how cute/funny it was seeing this tough 21 year old guy with a tattoo and a scruffy beard playing in the tide pools with the little ones and loving every minute of it. Still think about him all the time and wish he was still here. Thinking about you today Stephanie, Aunt Carol, Uncle Bill, Grandma, all of you...I love you.
Katherine Rogers
Thank you for your memories. I too have many beautiful memories of Brian. He was so fun, generous, and loving. It was nice to remember him today. Thanks for bringing your "little" brother along to work at Bonclarken that summer. I'll always cherish our years of friendship that began there. To God be the glory for allowing our paths to cross. Thanks for reminding us that all things are part of God's greater plan. Much love to you and your family.
Beth Tuten
I remember many days in band with Brian my senior year and his sophomore year of High School. He was always making me laugh with his wonderful sense of humor and made me smile with his sweet demeanor. He was such fun to be around and could make you instantly feel comfortable. He was a great trumpet player, too! What a great way to share his memory.
Melissa McGee Gleason
I have so many memories of Brian, I don't know where to start. He made me feel like the most beautiful, important person in the world during a time that I didn't feel beautiful, or important. I will NEVER forget him.
One funny memory that I have...he rode with me, and my parents to a football game. Daddy decided to take the car through an automatic car wash. Brian and I were in the back seat, and I think there was a bee, or spider...whatever it was, it freaked Brian out-and in the middle of the car wash he opened the door, not even realizing that he was going to get SOAKED! I have never laughed so hard in my life. He was so afraid of the insect, that he failed to realize we were in an automatic car wash. I loved that boy!
Mistie (Jones) Owens